No, I wasn’t being charitable.
(Though I’m not opposed to the idea.. especially if it involves buying adorable shoes)
I just did something that wasn’t for me. Rather, I did something that I thought could have been for me, but then really wasn’t.
Okay, so this kind of talk may be very, very inappropriate for a food blog but bear with me.
You know when you really like a particular food… and then something negative happens involving that particular food… and then even though you wish it weren’t the case… even a mental picture involving the particular food makes you cringe and/or dry heave?
You’re right, that was a terrible intro to a recipe.
You see, as a lover of food in all of it’s diversity, it pains me to have such strong negative reactions to food. ESPECIALLY good food.
It’s not the food’s fault atall. It was just bad timing. You know? How was the poor food supposed to know that you were going to associate it with whatever horrid traumatizing evil blasphemous terror that was to follow?
I’m not dramatic, I’m emetophobic. BIG TIME. Those who know me understand my plague.
As a ten year old, if allowed, I would have developed a drug habbit.
I was so terrified of vomituous illness that I demanded a Gravol nearly every night for 6 months. Somehow, our Gravol supply mysteriously depleated to nil. Mother decided not to purchase any more. I was terrified.
In hindsight, my aversion to cookie-tossing was probably not completely detrimental. I was already a skin coloured whisper, lost calories could have been fatal. I call it self preservation.
Others call it obsessive compulsive.
Growing older, my neurosis abated… mildly.
I have at least silenced it in all but direct confrontations.
If M is ill, I still quarantine myself in the basement, requesting food deliveries only though the backdoor onto the deck. On a thoroughly sanitised plate. While I wear bike gloves.. with a scarf around my face.
If affronted by Chinese food, I still run screaming.
My most recent incident involved a Lemon Poppyseed loaf. Those who were present at this special occasion will understand why I decided not discuss the details of my trauma.
Why? Why Lemon poppyseed? You have been nothing but decent to me.
I wasn’t aware of the severity of this issue when deciding how to use the basket of lemons on my counter. Obviously.
Lemon chia seed muffins sounded good.
Then came the smell. Delicious lemony baked goodness.
Qeue Nausea. I’m ridiculous.
I fought and I fought. I even had half of a mini muffin. It was perfect.
I had to then chug water, brush my teeth, and sit outside for ten minutes.
Someone else seemed nothing but pleased by my issues.
He guarantees that if you make these muffins, you will also be nothing but pleased.
Lemon Chia Seed Muffins
Adapted from Peas and Thank You
- 1/2 c. (minus 2.5T) soy milk (or organic milk) .. yes random measurement
- 4 T. lemon juice (juice of 2 lemons)
- 1 c. spelt flour (or whole wheat)
- 3/4 c. flour
- 2 t. baking powder
- 1/2 t. baking soda
- 1/2 t. salt
- 1/4 c. chia seeds
- 1/3 c. coconut oil
- 2/3 c. agave nectar (or other liquid sweetener)
- 1/3 c. unsweetened applesauce
- 1 t. vanilla extract
- 1 T. lemon zest
p.s. Today I heard my co-worker talking on her phone about her daughter being home sick. With the Stomach flu. Make my cubicle portable. Now.
p.p.s. food photography is tiring